The Principles of Friendship (Part 2)
A good illustration of the difference in the two Greek words translated "friend" is their use in the following passages. Judas gave Jesus a kiss when he came to betray Him. Jesus said to him, ""Friend, why are you here?" Then they came up and laid hands on Jesus and seized him"(Matt. 2650 RSV). The Greek word here is "hetairos" which means "companion, comrade, partner." In contrast, Jesus used this word in referring to His loyal and beloved disciples "No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you" (John 1515 RSV). The Greek word here is the word, "philos" which means a loved or beloved friend.
While friends (hetairos) can betray us and thus hurt us, we have this reminder "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (Prov. 276). A true friend (one who loves you) has your best interests in mind even when s/he hurts you by being frank and rebuking you (see verse 5).
Friends Influence Us
There is no doubt that we are influenced by our friends. This is especially true during our formative years and into teenage. Peers have enormous persuasive power with us. We see it in the case of Amnon and Tamar. It was Amnon’s friend that persuaded him to fake being sick in order to lure his beautiful half sister into his room (2 Sam. 133-15). We are warned not to be friends with an angry person and not to accompany a furious person (Prov. 2224).
We are warned not to let a friend influence us to do wrong. Specifically not to allow a friend to lure us to the worship of other gods (Deut. 136). Today, we can apply that in many ways. We need to resist allowing a "friend who is as your own soul" to influence us toward evil or the breaking of God’s commandments. It takes a great deal of courage to resist the peer influence. Most people want to belong, to please others, to be accepted by others. It is natural, therefore, to want to "go along" or "join in" and not to offend the desires of your friend or friends.
No time in our lives is a difficult to resist peer pressure as the teenage years when acceptance by peers seems to be of paramount importance. You might remember your own teenage years when having the right clothing, style, look, etc. was all important.
The Bible tells us that a true friend "loves at all times" (Prov. 1717). It also suggests that our behavior speaks louder than our words as a friend. "He who blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing"(Prov. 2714 RSV). Notice that even though the person is "blessing" his friend which means praising him/her the fact that it is early in the morning and is waking the friend up, robbing him/her of needed restmakes it "cursing." Actions speak louder than words.
A husband or wife though a lover can also be in the category of a beloved friend (Song of Solomon 516).
Jesus was regarded as the "friend" (philos loving friend) of publicans and sinners (Matt.1119). There is a Pharisaical tendency to become "angry" or ‘hostile" to people who sin. Jesus was not that way. He was more hostile with the people who pretended to be righteous. It wasn’t the publicans and harlots who wanted Jesus dead. It was the religious leaders and those professing to observe the laws of God.
A Model of Friendship
Perhaps the best model of friendship is the relationship of God with the prophets and patriarchs. What a wonderful statement in Isaiah "But thou, Israel, art my servant, Jacob whom I have chosen, the seed of Abraham, my friend" (418). "Abraham, my friend," God said. Put your own name in there. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have God say that regarding you?!
In the New Testament, James must have been referring to the Isaiah passage "…and he was called the friend of God" (223). Again this is the Greek word "philos" which means a loved or beloved friend. This word philos is also used in another famous passage in James "…whosoever therefore will b a friend (philos) of the world is the enemy of God" (44). Think of it this way. Could you be a friend to some one who loved everything you hated? This is what this passage is talking about. We cannot be a loving friend to the world of sin and corruption, to the Babylonian system which hurts and destroys mankind without alienating God. God hates that system. Therefore, James tells us that if we love it, we become God’s enemy.
While God hates the world’s system and sins, He is a friend to mankind. Note this verse "But after that the kindness and love of God our Savior toward man appeared" (Titus 34). Contained in this verse is a Greek word translated "love of God…toward man." It is a Greek word that is a combination of two Greek words. It is "pilanthropia" from "philos" (loving friend) and "anthropos" (man or mankind). In other words, God extends Himself to be the friend of all mankind.
But what about mankind? They (and one time we) were God’s enemies (Rom. 510). And while we were enemies Christ died for us. This was so that we could be reconciled to God through Him. Now God pleads with man through His ministry "be reconciled to God" (2Cor. 520).
What does it mean to be reconciled? It is the same word that Greeks would use to reconcile a set of numbers that didn’t add up. It is used when two people are at odds and need to have their differences and attitudes reconciled. To be reconciled to God is to become His friend!
Why would any person (man, woman or child) not want to be God’s friend? What does God bring to a friendship?
Power -- "all power is given to me in heaven & earth."
Wealth -- the earth and its fullness belong to God all the silver, all the
gold.
Forgiveness/mercy -- His mercy never fails and He does not remember
our sins.
Loyalty/commitment -- He will never leave us or forsake us (Heb. 135).
Care -- He watches over us, cares for us and asks us to bring our cares to
Him.
Wisdom/knowledge -- He has all knowledge and wisdom has been with
Him.
Honesty and truthfulness -- It is impossible for God to lie and we can
count of Him.
Goodness -- God is good and He demonstrates that through His bounty to all.
Help -- God gives help in all circumstances.
Love -- He demonstrated His love for us through the sacrifice of His Son (John 3:16; Romans 5:8.
Again, why would anyone refuse God’s friendship?? People around the world need to know that they can come to God, repent of their sins, repent of their love of the world, and be reconciled to God. They need to know that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself and that He extends His undying friendship now in this life and unto the ages of ages!! We have this ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:20).
While friends (hetairos) can betray us and thus hurt us, we have this reminder "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (Prov. 276). A true friend (one who loves you) has your best interests in mind even when s/he hurts you by being frank and rebuking you (see verse 5).
Friends Influence Us
There is no doubt that we are influenced by our friends. This is especially true during our formative years and into teenage. Peers have enormous persuasive power with us. We see it in the case of Amnon and Tamar. It was Amnon’s friend that persuaded him to fake being sick in order to lure his beautiful half sister into his room (2 Sam. 133-15). We are warned not to be friends with an angry person and not to accompany a furious person (Prov. 2224).
We are warned not to let a friend influence us to do wrong. Specifically not to allow a friend to lure us to the worship of other gods (Deut. 136). Today, we can apply that in many ways. We need to resist allowing a "friend who is as your own soul" to influence us toward evil or the breaking of God’s commandments. It takes a great deal of courage to resist the peer influence. Most people want to belong, to please others, to be accepted by others. It is natural, therefore, to want to "go along" or "join in" and not to offend the desires of your friend or friends.
No time in our lives is a difficult to resist peer pressure as the teenage years when acceptance by peers seems to be of paramount importance. You might remember your own teenage years when having the right clothing, style, look, etc. was all important.
The Bible tells us that a true friend "loves at all times" (Prov. 1717). It also suggests that our behavior speaks louder than our words as a friend. "He who blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing"(Prov. 2714 RSV). Notice that even though the person is "blessing" his friend which means praising him/her the fact that it is early in the morning and is waking the friend up, robbing him/her of needed restmakes it "cursing." Actions speak louder than words.
A husband or wife though a lover can also be in the category of a beloved friend (Song of Solomon 516).
Jesus was regarded as the "friend" (philos loving friend) of publicans and sinners (Matt.1119). There is a Pharisaical tendency to become "angry" or ‘hostile" to people who sin. Jesus was not that way. He was more hostile with the people who pretended to be righteous. It wasn’t the publicans and harlots who wanted Jesus dead. It was the religious leaders and those professing to observe the laws of God.
A Model of Friendship
Perhaps the best model of friendship is the relationship of God with the prophets and patriarchs. What a wonderful statement in Isaiah "But thou, Israel, art my servant, Jacob whom I have chosen, the seed of Abraham, my friend" (418). "Abraham, my friend," God said. Put your own name in there. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have God say that regarding you?!
In the New Testament, James must have been referring to the Isaiah passage "…and he was called the friend of God" (223). Again this is the Greek word "philos" which means a loved or beloved friend. This word philos is also used in another famous passage in James "…whosoever therefore will b a friend (philos) of the world is the enemy of God" (44). Think of it this way. Could you be a friend to some one who loved everything you hated? This is what this passage is talking about. We cannot be a loving friend to the world of sin and corruption, to the Babylonian system which hurts and destroys mankind without alienating God. God hates that system. Therefore, James tells us that if we love it, we become God’s enemy.
While God hates the world’s system and sins, He is a friend to mankind. Note this verse "But after that the kindness and love of God our Savior toward man appeared" (Titus 34). Contained in this verse is a Greek word translated "love of God…toward man." It is a Greek word that is a combination of two Greek words. It is "pilanthropia" from "philos" (loving friend) and "anthropos" (man or mankind). In other words, God extends Himself to be the friend of all mankind.
But what about mankind? They (and one time we) were God’s enemies (Rom. 510). And while we were enemies Christ died for us. This was so that we could be reconciled to God through Him. Now God pleads with man through His ministry "be reconciled to God" (2Cor. 520).
What does it mean to be reconciled? It is the same word that Greeks would use to reconcile a set of numbers that didn’t add up. It is used when two people are at odds and need to have their differences and attitudes reconciled. To be reconciled to God is to become His friend!
Why would any person (man, woman or child) not want to be God’s friend? What does God bring to a friendship?
Power -- "all power is given to me in heaven & earth."
Wealth -- the earth and its fullness belong to God all the silver, all the
gold.
Forgiveness/mercy -- His mercy never fails and He does not remember
our sins.
Loyalty/commitment -- He will never leave us or forsake us (Heb. 135).
Care -- He watches over us, cares for us and asks us to bring our cares to
Him.
Wisdom/knowledge -- He has all knowledge and wisdom has been with
Him.
Honesty and truthfulness -- It is impossible for God to lie and we can
count of Him.
Goodness -- God is good and He demonstrates that through His bounty to all.
Help -- God gives help in all circumstances.
Love -- He demonstrated His love for us through the sacrifice of His Son (John 3:16; Romans 5:8.
Again, why would anyone refuse God’s friendship?? People around the world need to know that they can come to God, repent of their sins, repent of their love of the world, and be reconciled to God. They need to know that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself and that He extends His undying friendship now in this life and unto the ages of ages!! We have this ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:20).
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